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Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Honesty

I love my little boy. I really do.  Even when I have to carry him for all of his naps during the day so that he isn't cranky. Even when he wakes up a million times at night.  Even when I have to clean up poop explosions.

But, to be honest, there are times I miss my old life. You know, the one where I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. The one where I could stay out past 6 pm. The one that didn't revolve around a 3 hour schedule. I think that this is one of the biggest adjustments I've had to make (aside from not sleeping through the night).  No more near daily trips to Target. No more leisurely shopping at the mall. No more driving out to visit friends for dinner. I miss hanging out with my friends whenever I want. I miss working on my Etsy shop.  I feel selfish even saying it, but sometimes, I miss it. There are a few things that will hopefully happen in the next few months that will make things a little easier including teaching Baby J to sleep through the night, teaching Baby J how to nap on his own and just letting him have time to grow up a bit.

In the meantime, I'm trying to enjoy where we are...his fat little thighs, his soft skin, his little coos, the way he wraps his arms around me when I hold him, the way he's learning so much, so quickly. It's rough right now, but I know he's going to grow up so fast and then I'll miss how little he is now.  Like Chris often says to Baby J before he leaves for work, "Don't grow up too fast. Okay buddy?"


Baby J and his milk belly.